My friend Petya keeps a wonderful feminist blog where she discusses many issues women still face today, despite the fact that theoretically societies have evolved a lot. As a woman I am very interested in these topics, though it never occurred to me to write about them since a) Petya already does more than a wonderful job and b) the intention of this blog was totally different.

However, one thing really annoyed me recently and I cannot help but share it. We started talking with my officemate Peter about how he is really impressed that most of the upper management in my company in Bulgaria are women. The conversation evolved into the topic of how women are treated in different companies/cultures.

Turns out that in Hungary (as a general rule, with the exception of some truly international companies) there is an intriguing particularity about how people address each other. Hungarian, unlike English has a formal and informal way of addressing people (much like the ти and вие in Bulgarian, the du and Sie in German, the tu and vous in French … you get the drift). The formal one is usually used to address people who are higher in the hierarchy than you, older, people you don’t know or people of a generally higher status than yourself. Bottom line: the formal way of addressing someone invokes respect.

The funny thing here is that men (regardless of their age or position at the company) can address other men (again regardless of position or age) with the informal tu-form. Women can address other women with the same form as well. But get this: women should address men of a higher position with the formal vous-form. Men, of course, can address all women using the informal form.

Later on, I had lunch with another colleague, an elder woman. I still could not believe this, so I asked her if it were true (I though I might have misunderstood). She exclaimed But of course! I pointed out that this sounds quite sexist and she replied it was politeness, not sexism.

Wait a second! So if men address other men in the tu-form, it is not considered impolite, but suddenly it becomes an issue of politeness if women should address men in the same form? I asked. She raised her shoulders and said I guess you simply don’t understand it. It is cultural. It has always been like that.

Aaaaah, my favorite argument: we’ve always done it. Since when did we loose our critical thinking ability? How is it possible to evolve if we do things like they have always been done? And cultural? Really? I’m sorry, No! Culture does not justify sexism.

Since the formal way of addressing someone invokes respect for that person, this habit basically means that women owe more respect to men than men to women. And that, if you ask me, is sexism.

Today, while smoking, I was making small talk with one colleague I don’t know too well. We started to chit-chat about the upcoming holidays and I shared with him that I am already stressing out about my Christmas shopping. Especially now, that I will have to do it all in Hungary.

See, I love, love, love Christmas. And every year I want to get my loved ones something that they would reaaaaaally like. So come October, I start fretting about it – and I usually don’t do much (but fret) by December 20th …

He looked at me with childish bewilderment and said But it’s really easy for you. You’re in Hungary now – so you can get everyone a salami roll and some Balaton wine.

Right. Though I can totally picture myself handing out salami with a joyful Merry Christmas cheer, that conversation still did not do much to relieve me from the gift-shopping stress. But it did get me thinking…

Petya is asking for Bulgarian-related gift ideas (if you have any, that are subtle, yet charmingly Bulgarian, drop her a line). I guess I am just asking – how much importance do you place on your Christmas gifts?

Phoebe is my favorite “Friends” character. I love her for being wonderfully oblivious to “real life out there” and for being so fond of the little things that surround her. On my favorite Phoebe moments was when she was wondering how to break the news to her brother that he will have triplets. I don’t know if you remember, but her opening line was You know how you see three people walking next to each other on the street and you think to yourself “Oh, that’s nice!” That sentence right there captures Phoebe’s magic for me.

I am happy to join a blogging meme Petya invited me to which reminds me of Phoebe. Here are 6 little things that make me really happy:

1. Pink

I spent the most part of my life with an aversion to pink. I even remember one day my friend Mirela called me, shocked, and said Mon, Hanka just spent 500 euros on PINK! I nearly gagged though I had to admit pink looks awesome on Hanka. Anyway, some three years ago, overnight, pink turned from my lifetime aversion to a borderline obsession. I can’t help but smile every time I am confronted with it (and that includes total strangers on the street wearing pink). Three out of four of my favorite gadgets are pink/have pink on them

2. My two favorite bookmarks

I read all the time. When I was a kid I used to spend all my summers with my grandparents in a tiny Bulgarian village. And the fact that I constantly read – literally while walking on the street and eating – used to piss them off. In a good loving way.  Years later, I am still like that; there is always a book within arm-reach. And the two things that make reading even more enjoyable are my two favorite bookmarks – both a gift from very dear friends.

3. Bartending

As a Bulgarian student in Paris I had to take what little jobs were available to secure some extra cash. Teaching English, babysitting, the likes. My favorite job of all was bartending. I used to work at school parties, at receptions, illegally at British pubs. There’s nothing like having a tired client walk in the pub at the end of the day, wishing to have his/her favorite drink. And you make it perfect. And you watch them enjoy every single sip of it. Pure bliss.

4. My bed cover.

It was love at first sight. I saw it in a store and immediately planned the design of my room all around it. The colors make me smile every day.

5. First days of spring

What gives me a blast is watching how people dress. At a traffic light you will have the impatient ones in tank tops waiting to cross the street next to someone who is still in their winter coat.

6. Staying up really late on Fridays.

One thing I am definitely not is a morning person. I have the wost time waking up every single day. But one thing that makes me really happy is staying up ridiculously late on Friday nights. No matter how tired I am, I’d keep myself awake – watching TV series or reading a book – just because I can and there won’t be an alarm clock the following day.

Technically now I should tag 6 people to participate. Since I am doing this a month late and most people have done it already, I am going to tag only three: Andreas (cause he needs urging to write more), Elissaveta (cause I am sure she will have a really hard time narrowing her choice down to 6 things and I am curious) and Toni whom I don’t know personally, but whose writing I always enjoy.

To the he rest of you: please make my day by telling me which 6 little things make your day here in the comments’ section.