Monika’s Musings

miscellaneous tidbits on marketing, advertising, and life in general

A picture of a baby with familiar features

September21

“Dynamic” is all the rage nowadays. The young ones – they write it in cover letters and university application essays and they claim it at job interviews. They all want a dynamic job, dynamic relationships, a dynamic lifestyle. Let me tell you – it’s not what it’s cracked up to be. Especially the last one.

When I was young(er) I did have a dynamic lifestyle. I lived in Paris, attended an international school and made friendships with people from all over the world. People were coming and going, entering and leaving your life, it was fun and cool and it was certainly dynamic. The best and the worst thing about my college was the same fact: that people came from all over the world. It was awesome when they were coming, but it was heartbreaking when they were leaving.

It’s all fun and crazy but at one point you realize you need a home. They say your home is where the people you love are. But the people I love are all over the globe and the globe is just not cozy enough to be a home. My heart is split in a million pieces and sometimes I want to have them all in the same place. Sometimes I get really tired and just want to be home. And then I remember I AM home. And that’s a scary thought because I am not. And I never will be.

And now this picture.

I had this one friend. And we shared days and nights and we were sober and drunk and smart and silly. We’d pull pranks on each other, but we had each other’s backs. And we had to say goodbye and we promised not to forget each other. But then life happened and somehow we forgot the promise.

Dear unknown baby, why do you look like my friend? Certainly, you coming into this world, is news big enough which would have been shared, no?

There are days when I wish I stayed at home. I wish I never met all these people whom I now painfully miss. There are days when I feel such profound sadness that I don’t know what to do with myself. But then again … I wouldn’t have it any other way.