Monika’s Musings

miscellaneous tidbits on marketing, advertising, and life in general

Fighting additctions


It was about time [blah blah blah] … it’s bad for your health [yada yada yada] … there are many reasons I could quote, but none of them would be true. The truth is: I got a bad bronchitis, had to go to a lung specialist and got a little freaked out while waiting in front of the doctor’s office. So I figured that coughing my guts out might be as good a reason as any to take a shot at quitting smoking. Not that I really wanted to (quite the contrary: I love smoking).

Today is day 16 and I have only smoked two cigarettes (which don’t count) – one on day 7 and one on day 12. So here are a couple of observations without the obvious health-related cliches:


1 ) I have so much more time on my hands. Seriously, it’s ridiculous. On average, a cigarette took up five minutes to smoke. With a pack a day that adds up to an hour and 40 minutes. All this time is now freed up for other activities.

2 ) My perfume smells much nicer than I already thought it did. All the way through the evening.

3 ) I need to go to the ATM a lot less often than before.

4 ) I feel a certain sense of freedom.

5 ) Walking through all of IKEA or a similar-sized store does not bother me anymore. Before I could only stand about two sections and then I wanted out – to have a cigarette.

6 ) The thought “I don’t smoke” is a actually a nice one, if it manages to squeeze itself in between gimmeacigarettegimmeacigarettegimmeacigarettegimmeacigarettegimmeacigarette
gimmeacigarettegimmeacigarettegimmeacigarette. Still does not happen very often…

7 ) It is easier to be seated in a restaurant without waiting.

8 ) I actually eat less. Because you know that false sense that you get that a cigarette is like a digestive? Now that I don’t have it, I don’t eat as much so that I wouldn’t get a heavy feeling.

9 ) The constant fear is gone. Well, almost.


1 ) Waiting. People and public transportation in Bulgaria are always late. I never really liked waiting, but it was so much easier with a cigarette.

2 ) I feel like I should talk more. A cigarette is such a good excuse to be quiet, to sit back, relax and mind your won business without appearing anti-social.

3 ) Work breaks. Smoking breaks are legit. Back when I used to work in pubs, people actually started smoking, so they could have a break during the shift. No manager ever questioned a bartender who took a cigarette break, but if you just wanted to sit down on a chair and do nothing for five minutes – that was not acceptable. It is not much different in the corporate world.

4 ) I am finding it extremely hard to concentate at work.  Reading an A4 page is quite a challenge. Less now, but during the first week it was practically impossible.

5 ) Writing is even tougher than reading. For some reason, I write much better while smoking. Regardless of what I am writing – an e-mail, a blog post, a research paper or something for work. I feel that my talent lied in heavy nicotine consumption.

6 ) I miss my lighter. I have a gorgeous pink Givenchy metal lighter which stays at home now.

7 ) I get very nervous in bars.

8 ) All of the above can be summarized as: I REALLY miss it. And it is very very hard. One in every three thoughts is “I want a cigarette SO badly”. And that’s an improvement: the first three days that was every single one of my thoughts. I honestly do not recall any of the conversations with people from this time.

Funny observations:

1 ) The habit lies in purely physical routines as well. For example, Vesko and I have a Saturday morning tradition: he wakes up earlier than me, bakes croissants and brings up a gorgeous breakfast tray with which he wakes me up (am I the luckiest girl in the world, or what?). So I’d get up, pick up my tea mug and go to the window to have a cigarette. This past Saturday, without thinking, I did the same thing and just started laughing when I suddenly found myself standing by the window thinking “I don’t need to be here”.

2 ) I have to “manually” correct my train of thought when it runs on “automatic”. For example there is this monthly meeting at work which I really don’t enjoy going to, because it is long, completely outside my competences and therefore boring for me. It was this week and when I got the Outlook reminder my thoughts ran like this: “Oh, yuck. This meeting again. I have to go down early and smoke at least two cigarettes. Wait a minute. I don’t do that anymore. Crap. Now what?”

3 ) Besides cigarettes, for some reason, I am constantly craving cheese sandwiches. Go figure.

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posted under General stuff
2 Comments to

“Fighting additctions”

  1. On May 31st, 2012 at 11:17 am Kasha Says:

    Congratulations, Moni! I was reading your post and was going to comment on quitting but then I read this: “Vesko [...] wakes up earlier than me, bakes croissants and brings up a gorgeous breakfast tray with which he wakes me up”. I almost peed my pants :) Lucky girl indeed! I have to find a way for Tim to read this “by accident” :) Anyway, back to quitting smoking, judging by your last post it’s going well… but if you find yourself missing it, I recommend reading ‘Easyway to quit smoking’ by Allen Carr – it helps to get rid of the psychological addiction and the feeling that you’re missing out. Good luck!

  2. On May 31st, 2012 at 1:20 pm monika Says:

    Hey Kash,
    Yeah – my man is golden! :)
    Thanks for the recommendation – I might give the book a shot, actually. The cravings become much easier to handle as time goes by, but every once in a while I do miss it! And so far I rely on willpower alone to fight the psychological addiction …

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